Strive for Imperfection! Aim Low!

Hi t2drs! I want to convince you to strive for imperfection with your diet, exercise and BG levels. I mean it.

You know, reading t2d tweets, blogs, websites, discussion groups are often a bit like high school or university reunions - the ones that show up (dominate the discussions) are newly graduated (diagnosed) or most likely, have achieved the pinnacle of success (got rich, great car, trophy spouse, celebrity status). God bless'em!

If you've just got laid off, your marriage is in the tank and kids are in jail, chances are pretty good you won't show up at the reunion. Same with t2ds to some extent. One of the themes of this blog has been how shy t2drs are about talking to others about their trials and tribulations. Mainly for reasons of guilt (it's all our own damn fault), we don't speak up or complain or commiserate with each other.

But the t2d super stars that predominate in the diabetic public community of magazines, websites, blogs, etc, aren't the least bit shy about trumpeting their success.

It seems that they eat perfectly as diabetics - just the right amounts of carbs, proteins & fats; a hot dog or a french fry never passes their lips, they're losing weight like crazy or have reached their target (perfect, ideal) weight, they never eat compulsively, none of them sneak treats or fall of the wagon with a delicious chocolate bar. They both grow and eat their own healthy organic vegetables, eat only chicken (no skin) and fish (poached or grilled), and cottage cheese is the only fromage entering their optimal low-carb, low glycemic index, low fat, no sugare, non-processed, salt free diet. Hurray for them!

These model t2ds exercise 3 times a day, 8 times a week for 2 hrs. each time, can bench press their weight and then run a marathon. They hardly brake a sweat! OK, a bit of exaggeration, perhaps.

Of course, such super stars hardly need any meds because their BG is optimal all the time. No roller coaster of highs and lows for them - they done got t2d beat, yessir.

And then there's the other 99% of us t2drs. Well, let's see. We likely had a genetic predisposition to t2d, but we really helped it along by loving our food, big family celebrations and restaurants, plenty of snacks before and after meals, especially high-carb salty stuff like chips and pretzels, pizza (dlbe cheese, please) couple times a week, the double patty burger w/rings, fried chicken, etc.

We live to eat, not eat to live. We look forward to every next meal - sometimes while we're still eating the present one. We eat when we're stressed out, we feast when we're happy or successful, we eat when we're lonely, we eat when we're full of love and joy with our family and friends, we eat out with our dates, we have beer and wings with the guys on Wednesday night, we watch the food shows on TV and our mouth waters...food and eating food and the occasion of eating is part of our culture, our life. You can't deny it.

Oh yeah, exercise. Some of us made the school team in football or track or volleyball - but as we got older, we weren't quite good enough to play in the university varsity team or professionally or maybe at all. We started things like tennis and squash later than our peers, and we weren't very good at it, and it's a pain to schedule games all the time and find competitive opponents (I mean players who are as bad as we are). Or, we play golf, with a cart, and tell ourselves that this is exercise. We got bigger and bigger,put outsized clothes downstairs for when we lost weight, and we realized this was not good, so we joined gyms and clubs and fitness centres, went for awhile, and got really tired of being the fattest person in the class, the one who couldn't keep up.

For some, career (aka our job) imposed limitations on exercising, if we wanted to, in the morning, at noon or after work. We sit at desks or in cars or trucks too many hours a day. We're still tired when we get home at night, and hungry after skipping lunch, and then we spend time with the kids or plant ourselves in front of the TV. Doing an hour on the treadmill is just not that appealing after supper, and by 10, it's time to wind down for the night, not get our heart rate up for 20 minutes. We gave up a few years ago on the contest for best Dad or Mom, we just try to get by without breaking down. We're just not perfect.

That's reality, for the vast majority of t2drs. I often say to people, "Listen, if I had any willpower with food and liked exercise, I wouldn't be this fat!" I get it, but I'm not sure the svelte, self-satisfied people do. They just keep yelling that fatuous refrain, "Just eat less and exercise and make the t2d go away. It's all up to you!" Oh, that is such bullshit, it really is. All this week and last, I saw dozens of these stupid tweets on twitter to this effect. They tweet it as if it's news.

I hate exercise, I won't deny that. I really like working away on a home project, or trying to play a bit of kick ball or catch or whatever, but standard exercise is god awful tedious. Who likes this stuff, actually? Are these people interesting? Sure, I like the endorphiin rush - felt it for the first time last year. OK, it's good.

So, where does this rant get me? Well, I react by striving for imperfection and I think you should too, if you're an average t2dr. At 55, I'm not going to change my personality or my situation. I can make small changes to my lifestyle - eating less & better, and being physically active - small changes made over time can add up to some good progress and results. I avoid hurting myself with exercise by overdoing it. I respect my own limitations, and as the sole breadwinner without disability insurance, I can't afford to put myself out of commission from work.

I set low targets, not high ones, and when I meet the targets, I try to make higher targets, but you know, reality is that you do have setbacks and limbo periods for lots of reasons. I don't beat myself up about it. I don't look at the t2d super stars as my models. Everyone is very different in so many ways, so though I do gain inspiration from some achievers on certain things, I compete against myself.

I try to keep going in the forward direction over the long term. If I wolf down a bunch of delictible carbs, I don't get depressed about it. I try to keep on the program and not make it worse by falling off the tracks in guilt and anger.

I don't try to be perfect, or even remotely close. I have so many faults and shortcomings I can't list them all. But, I can work with what I have - "it could be worse" is my inspiration most of the time - think about it - It could be worse. I like to look at some others who are fatter than me, or older or both, and use that as inspiration to work a bit harder, or show more resolve. It more or less works for me, and I try new tricks now and then to shake up the monotomy of it all.

I don't want t2d to BE my life, it's just part of my life, a part that's a pain in the ass. I have to live with it, and I can't surrender to it. Like Joe Dirt, "I just keep on keepin' on" - imperfect, maybe moving in the right direction on same areas, making some progress. Progress might mean not getting worse, not allowing t2d to wreck your body anymore this month as compared to last month. Aim low, set realistic goals and achieve them.


Tonight, Hallowe'en, I've had 5 of these wonderful little chocolate bars so far ... so what, arrest me! I had a light day, good supper and some exercise today - not perfect, not even very good. No gold stars for me. It could be worse.

Strive for imperfection t2d comrades!