type 2 diabetes: My Reality Show

IDIOTIC EATING TRICKS: Striving for IMPERFECTION

2009-12-11T15:26:00.006-05:00

Hi t2drs! Here's some eating tricks, painfully learned by me, not always followed by me though I try (I'm imperfect):

1. Don't eat food your favourite/usual way. If you like hot food hot, eat it lukewarm.

2. Slow down to a crawl: I eat too fast. When I slow down, I eat far less. Take a sip of water/red wine w/EVERY BITE! or,put down the tools after each bite. 100% works.

3. Don't pig out on vegetables or any "free" or "safe" food. It stretches your stomach. Eat small portions. Yeah, I know, that's the whole problem. Read on.

4. Eat 5 meals a day, but treat as a meal, not grazing. Gather food, get plate & sit down and eat it properly.

5. Spice up your food w/foods that keep on giving - like garlic, onion.

6. Deliberately pick foods for meals that you're not that keen about. Really. YOU MUST START EATING JUST TO LIVE, NOT LIVING TO EAT. FOOD IS JUST NUTRITION. I don't follow this one very often, I just love all kinds of food.

7. If you can't follow #6, then buy only excellent quality of whatever it is: steak, chocolate, wine, whatever - but eat it in small amounts!

8. Try high protein bars, low in carbs, for snacks, they work for me.

9. Don't snack before any meal. Wait for proper meal. Be tough.

10. There is no #10. It's such a cliche to have 10 tricks or tips.

11. Never wash chewed food down w/drinks of anything. Eat dry, fully swallow before taking a sip.

12. No second helpings if you can help it. Bad habit and stretches stomach.

OK, admit it, no one in the diabetic industry told you these tricks, well maybe #'s 2 & 9. T2drs are expected to exercise perfect willpower and eating habits, notwithstanding what they've been doing for the last decades.

I reject that approach. We're imperfect beings, even the obnoxious skinny, muscular trainers and nutritionists, etc. We should strive for a degree of imperfection we can live with, and get better at a pace. We need to break out now and then. We need to shut out the din of "eat well and exercise and cure your diabetes" that inundates us.

I believe in small improvements and not feeling guilty for lapses or distractions. Don't try all of the above tricks - try a few or a couple. Small steps but in right direction, right? Good luck friends.

late update better than none?

2009-12-06T22:08:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow,I go to my first appointment in the process to get a Roux-en-Y gastric bypass operation at the local hospital. A bit scary, a bit anti-climatic, as I started the process about 9 months ago, and it's taken this long to get to first base.

My diet has plateaued at about 15lbs off, over three months - a struggle. I exercise at home twice a week, and go to a muscle-building resistance exercise class on Sat. morning, followed by a meeting with nutritionist and/or physio or doctor.

My GP, who is otherwise very up to date and progressive, and my endo, favour lap banding, because they say it is more flexible - adjustable. But, it doesn't do away with diabetes like the Roux-en-Y does for +85% of patients. The bypass is laparascopic and you lose a couple days off work, followed by several months of a severe diet and eating schedule - that's why I call it "drastic bypass".

My thinking is that it might give me 5-10 better/extra yrs and return me to my old sport playing, hiking, normal size self. I'm tired of being fat. I don't see myself as fat. And you know and I know that a tiny portion of people like me that are 100 lbs overweight ever get back to their normal weight. It just doesn't happen.

The diet, fitness and diabetes industry all bullshit about these exceptional cases as if everyone can do it - it just takes willpower. What bullshit! We're never going to improve the obesity trend with this approach.

In the meantime, I want to really stop the diabetes damage progression and feel normal again. We'll see.

type 2 diabetes & holiday cruises

2009-11-24T23:27:00.004-05:00

I just got back from a 7-day Caribbean cruise on the Carnival Liberty, and glad to have gained just 4-5 lbs.

Sure, there are activities to do, a gym and hiking expeditions to take that help burn the sugar. However, the emphasis is on eating, drinking and lying around in the sun. And, if you go with others who aren't t2drs, then it's not so easy to make the good food and exercise choices that you make at home on a regular schedule.

The buffets at breakfast are predominated by high carb and high sugar things - sweet buns, muffins and danishes, breads, bagels and fruit juices, plus some fresh fruit. There's not much in the way of proteins - I had eggs and lean ham, as bacon was very fatty, same with sausages. There's yoghurt - the sweetened kind.

At lunch, there was soup, some deli style sandwiches and a roast of something, pork, ham, beef and lamb, plus a mediocre salad bar. There were stations for stir fries, but the hamburgers and hot dogs were more plentiful.

Dinner in the main dining rooms were very good - but not the lush open buffets of the olden deals. Most of the starters and entrees were relatively low carb, but desserts were as good as they sounded and looked, unfortunately.

I didn't see any evidence of Carnival trying to cater to t2drs at all, but there were plenty of them on board - lots of overweight people, even bigger than me, and many of the black and hispanic high risk groups.

I use insulin, and keeping it cool enough was an issue because the room fringe wasn't cold enough. The room guy and I kept ice in the ice bucket all the time, with the insulin tubes buried in the ice. I think it worked.

Of course, few if any t2drs want to have any attention given to them, they want to be invisible, even if that threatens their wellbeing. So, the cruise world is not really ready for overtly catering to my world.

I worked pretty hard to avoid over-eating and maintaining some control, and it wasn't easy with all that temptation and irregular meals. I brought along some high protein snack bars to deal with long gaps between meals that could cause me to go too low and then more inclined to over eat at the next meal. I drank little beer and fewer fancy sweet drinks.

I wasn't perfect, that's for sure, but I wasn't real bad either. I would advise a t2dr to get a good cooler for insulin, measure often, shoot a bit more insulin,think hard at the buffet or dining table before lapsing into bad food choices, and try to do energetic activities and excursions wherever possible. It can be hard work on the food side. I was glad to find out, too late in the cruise, that late morning was a good time to get a free treadmill - but that only works if you're on board that morning, not off the ship for an excursion.

So, you can do a cruise without blowing up, but you've got to keep focused. Cheers!

Strive for Imperfection! Aim Low!

2009-10-31T18:24:00.003-04:00

Hi t2drs! I want to convince you to strive for imperfection with your diet, exercise and BG levels. I mean it.

You know, reading t2d tweets, blogs, websites, discussion groups are often a bit like high school or university reunions - the ones that show up (dominate the discussions) are newly graduated (diagnosed) or most likely, have achieved the pinnacle of success (got rich, great car, trophy spouse, celebrity status). God bless'em!

If you've just got laid off, your marriage is in the tank and kids are in jail, chances are pretty good you won't show up at the reunion. Same with t2ds to some extent. One of the themes of this blog has been how shy t2drs are about talking to others about their trials and tribulations. Mainly for reasons of guilt (it's all our own damn fault), we don't speak up or complain or commiserate with each other.

But the t2d super stars that predominate in the diabetic public community of magazines, websites, blogs, etc, aren't the least bit shy about trumpeting their success.

It seems that they eat perfectly as diabetics - just the right amounts of carbs, proteins & fats; a hot dog or a french fry never passes their lips, they're losing weight like crazy or have reached their target (perfect, ideal) weight, they never eat compulsively, none of them sneak treats or fall of the wagon with a delicious chocolate bar. They both grow and eat their own healthy organic vegetables, eat only chicken (no skin) and fish (poached or grilled), and cottage cheese is the only fromage entering their optimal low-carb, low glycemic index, low fat, no sugare, non-processed, salt free diet. Hurray for them!

These model t2ds exercise 3 times a day, 8 times a week for 2 hrs. each time, can bench press their weight and then run a marathon. They hardly brake a sweat! OK, a bit of exaggeration, perhaps.

Of course, such super stars hardly need any meds because their BG is optimal all the time. No roller coaster of highs and lows for them - they done got t2d beat, yessir.

And then there's the other 99% of us t2drs. Well, let's see. We likely had a genetic predisposition to t2d, but we really helped it along by loving our food, big family celebrations and restaurants, plenty of snacks before and after meals, especially high-carb salty stuff like chips and pretzels, pizza (dlbe cheese, please) couple times a week, the double patty burger w/rings, fried chicken, etc.

We live to eat, not eat to live. We look forward to every next meal - sometimes while we're still eating the present one. We eat when we're stressed out, we feast when we're happy or successful, we eat when we're lonely, we eat when we're full of love and joy with our family and friends, we eat out with our dates, we have beer and wings with the guys on Wednesday night, we watch the food shows on TV and our mouth waters...food and eating food and the occasion of eating is part of our culture, our life. You can't deny it.

Oh yeah, exercise. Some of us made the school team in football or track or volleyball - but as we got older, we weren't quite good enough to play in the university varsity team or professionally or maybe at all. We started things like tennis and squash later than our peers, and we weren't very good at it, and it's a pain to schedule games all the time and find competitive opponents (I mean players who are as bad as we are). Or, we play golf, with a cart, and tell ourselves that this is exercise. We got bigger and bigger,put outsized clothes downstairs for when we lost weight, and we realized this was not good, so we joined gyms and clubs and fitness centres, went for awhile, and got really tired of being the fattest person in the class, the one who couldn't keep up.

For some, career (aka our job) imposed limitations on exercising, if we wanted to, in the morning, at noon or after work. We sit at desks or in cars or trucks too many hours a day. We're still tired when we get home at night, and hungry after skipping lunch, and then we spend time with the kids or plant ourselves in front of the TV. Doing an hour on the treadmill is just not that appealing after supper, and by 10, it's time to wind down for the night, not get our heart rate up for 20 minutes. We gave up a few years ago on the contest for best Dad or Mom, we just try to get by without breaking down. We're just not perfect.

That's reality, for the vast majority of t2drs. I often say to people, "Listen, if I had any willpower with food and liked exercise, I wouldn't be this fat!" I get it, but I'm not sure the svelte, self-satisfied people do. They just keep yelling that fatuous refrain, "Just eat less and exercise and make the t2d go away. It's all up to you!" Oh, that is such bullshit, it really is. All this week and last, I saw dozens of these stupid tweets on twitter to this effect. They tweet it as if it's news.

I hate exercise, I won't deny that. I really like working away on a home project, or trying to play a bit of kick ball or catch or whatever, but standard exercise is god awful tedious. Who likes this stuff, actually? Are these people interesting? Sure, I like the endorphiin rush - felt it for the first time last year. OK, it's good.

So, where does this rant get me? Well, I react by striving for imperfection and I think you should too, if you're an average t2dr. At 55, I'm not going to change my personality or my situation. I can make small changes to my lifestyle - eating less & better, and being physically active - small changes made over time can add up to some good progress and results. I avoid hurting myself with exercise by overdoing it. I respect my own limitations, and as the sole breadwinner without disability insurance, I can't afford to put myself out of commission from work.

I set low targets, not high ones, and when I meet the targets, I try to make higher targets, but you know, reality is that you do have setbacks and limbo periods for lots of reasons. I don't beat myself up about it. I don't look at the t2d super stars as my models. Everyone is very different in so many ways, so though I do gain inspiration from some achievers on certain things, I compete against myself.

I try to keep going in the forward direction over the long term. If I wolf down a bunch of delictible carbs, I don't get depressed about it. I try to keep on the program and not make it worse by falling off the tracks in guilt and anger.

I don't try to be perfect, or even remotely close. I have so many faults and shortcomings I can't list them all. But, I can work with what I have - "it could be worse" is my inspiration most of the time - think about it - It could be worse. I like to look at some others who are fatter than me, or older or both, and use that as inspiration to work a bit harder, or show more resolve. It more or less works for me, and I try new tricks now and then to shake up the monotomy of it all.

I don't want t2d to BE my life, it's just part of my life, a part that's a pain in the ass. I have to live with it, and I can't surrender to it. Like Joe Dirt, "I just keep on keepin' on" - imperfect, maybe moving in the right direction on same areas, making some progress. Progress might mean not getting worse, not allowing t2d to wreck your body anymore this month as compared to last month. Aim low, set realistic goals and achieve them.

Tonight, Hallowe'en, I've had 5 of these wonderful little chocolate bars so far ... so what, arrest me! I had a light day, good supper and some exercise today - not perfect, not even very good. No gold stars for me. It could be worse.

Strive for imperfection t2d comrades!

Symlin - but not simple

2009-10-30T20:52:00.003-04:00

I read about Symlin, the hormone replacement drug/injection that helps to reduce insulin, kill appetite and help weight loss, on the Tu Diabetes.org website. It seems really complicated to get the right balance with carbs and insulin. Man alive, you should see the calculations and experiments these people seem to go thru to get it working for you. I'm looking into whether or not this is a short term thing, at the start, or somethng that continues.

Geez, this stuff is just way too complicated for me. It's not easy to get your bolus and basal insulin at the right levels, but if you change your routine, or don't have a routine, it can be hell going up and down in BG, weight, mood, etc.

Seems like current factors - difficulty in losing more weight, complexity of the insulin and diet, extreme hatred of boring exercise - are kind of pointing me to gastric bypass. My forms and priority for OHIP-paid surgery has gone MIA between St. Joe's Hospital in Hamilton and the clinic in Montreal that does overflow for them. I need to spend some time this weekend going over my file and kick starting or restarting this thing. My GP and endo are both not too enthused, they prefer the lap banding, but studies show the gp is very effective in arresting t2d.

It's not major surgery at all, not now with the french roux -en-y procedure that is well tested in Europe and US. It works. I have a close colleague who did it and he has lost about 100 lbs. The medical establishment and drug cos don't like it - less drugs, less lap bands, less testing for them.

Anyhow, forge ahead!

type 1s vs. type 2s

2009-10-25T17:29:00.004-04:00

I certainly hit a nerve with my rant on how type 2s are so different from type 1s in my comment on a diabetes website I recently joined. Interestingly, I had comments back, disagreeing, all from t1ds. I continue to believe that we have little in common, t2ds and t1ds.

Just because all the sites and associations lump everybody together doesn't mean that it's a good or suitable thing - and it isn't. T1ds look down on t2ds because even they still believe, like the bulk of the ignorant public, that t2d is a lifestyle disease. So, if you have t2d, you're a fat, lazy glutton and you did it to yourself, so fix it yourself. If you're a t1d, you're an innocent victim. Big difference in perspective.

Our interests are not totally in common, though there are some common issues. We might have more in common interest with heart attack and stroke victims than t1ds. That attitude thing will not change overnight, and I have no patience with it.

The website is TuDiabetes, and I think it's a great site; we'll see how much controversy they will entertain - or if they just want the same old every smiley pap and never a discouraging word. My first rants involved t1d vs. t2d, and the rip off of testing strips. I intend to take a shot on other things that bug me too, not for the sake of controversy, but because they really do bother me.

It's great to be positive, but change never happens when everyone is smiling and nodding even though they're angry or sad inside. We'll see.

Stability or stagnated?

2009-10-21T21:44:00.003-04:00

Howdy t2ds. I've been busy with little, lots of bits and pieces that form the rythmn of our fall run-up to Xmas and the New Year. I've neglected this blog, spending a fair bit of time on Twitter, blabbing on t2d, exercise, diet, economics, stk market, politics in Cda and US.

I've lost 13 lbs. in about two months, but it's been tough to get lower. Main problem is bigger Sat and Sun meals - the steak, the roast, more carbs, evil carbs, maybe some dessert, bread - all the stuff I love the most, of course.

I'm keeping up the exercise, being twice a week at home on the treadmill and recumbent bike, some weights. On Sat early mornings, I go to the Metabolic Centre to endure an hour of exercise torture and short session with a nutritionist. I get frequent urges to attack and devour carbs and salty stuff, but so far I've avoided bingeing. I'm more of a grazer - few pretzels here, some apple cider here, an apple, half a cracker...it all adds up.

On Twitter, I try to follow t2d stuff and a fair bit of it is type 1 also, which I strongly believe is bogus, and a lot of it is people hustling products. Like the blog world, very few real t2ds on Twitter, at least that I can find.

I am looking forward to my next A1C, which I can do anytime now. I should be close to 7, hopefully under.

Thanks for reading,

Two Steps Forward

2009-09-29T21:34:00.003-04:00

yo t2ds! Things are going quite a bit better the last three weeks or so, having dropped actose and making some other changes. The Metabolic Centre in Burlington program is going well, refining the 5 mini-meals a day diet and resistance type exercise on Sat mornings - an hour of torture.

I'm now shooting 90 levemir at night, and doing it at 10 pm instead of much later. My daily is still 15-10-15 but sometimes, I don't seem to need 15 in the morning because my first reading is lower - 6-8, way better than 8.5- 11. Walking the new pooch an hour after supper is likely helping a bit too. I'm testing a lot, and that's expensive, but it keeps me honest.

I'm supposed to ramp up the treadmill incline to build more muscle, that being the main objective of their program - increase muscle % to more calories are burned at rest. My ratio went the other way in the first month though, not sure why.

So now, I'm thinking of putting gastric bypass on back burner, to see how much I can lose in the next months. Both my endo and GP favour lap banding over bypass anyhow, and it's a good idea to diet beforehand to make it easier to adapt to diet after lap banding. If I can lose enough to get to say 230, I might not do the lap banding or bypass - I get to stay on normal food - if I'm well within control over blood sugars.

I think I'll be below 7 on next A1C test at the end of Oct. I was at 7.4 last test, a bit high. Mind you, I've been down this road before, full of optimism. So, like addicts, it'll be one day at a time.

all for now.

I Had to Want It

2009-09-13T21:58:00.004-04:00

Hidee ho t2d neighbour! Things are going a bit better lately. I was pretty frustrated with lack of weight loss that was likely due to increased insulin to keep bs levels down to 7ish aftr dropping actose. I couldn't see a way out of the catch-22. But, things did sort out a bit.

I'm not selling anything to anybody, so my ideas are strictly based on my views and recent experience as a type 2 diabetic who has had mixed success since going off the drugs and onto the insulin.

One thing I've really seen is that every t2d's experience is quite unique to that person. So, what works for me might not work for you - but it might work if you give it a chance.

A few observations from my last few weeks:

if you really comply with this 5 mini-meal metabolic diet, your stomach will shrink and so you'll feel full sooner - making it much easier to stop grazing & overeating
taking my overnight shot of levemir at 10 pm instead of 11 or later has reduced fasting readings nicely
must fight the big feast thing on Sat and Sun night suppers; cut carbs as much as possible, and stick to the mini-meals
new mac apples are super light snack and oh so good, maybe w/some cheese or nuts
patience, patience, patience - it takes a few days for the body to adjust to changes, must not get discouraged
weigh yourself and test yourself often: keeps you honest, on track before you fall off completely
I've reduced my Diet Cokes by about 80%, still love it but am trying to wean myself off it as most places say carbonated drinks and artificial sugars can stimulate appetite
trying to get out for a good walk about a half hour after supper - lowers nightly rate.

Hey, not sure I'll keep going down, but some degree of success, annd I take encouragement from small steps in right direction. Good luck to you.

small steps

2009-08-30T11:53:00.002-04:00

Down about 9 lbs now after a month at metabolic centre in burlington. Perhaps turning the corner. Or not. First 2 meals a day are easy, it's supper and late night that are the problems. Late night grazing. Or, pre-supper snacking because supper is delayed.

One thing that seems to consistently help my post-meal level is to take a good walk about a half hour after meal, work up a bit of a sweat and heart rate. Our pup is pretty rambunctious on walks, so it is a bit of work having an ordinary walk.

Weekends are tough, we love our food - steak, wine, well over the diet limit of 1500 per day. So, I need to find exercise to counter that, plus comply with as many meals as I can - meaning breakfast and lunch, no snack til late afternoon. Man, it is a pain. I think about food way too much. This aft: must get outside with Gracie, do something active in prematurely cold, fall like weather.

keep up the fight, success with small steps.

maybe it's turning around?

2009-08-24T21:27:00.002-04:00

Hey t2ders, how's it goin'? After whining last time about my troubles with blood sugar levels recently, tonight I scored 6.8 two hours after supper - that's v.g. for me, esp. lately. I did do a bit of exercise, taking out the garbage including some extra stuff and playing with our pup, Gracie.

This t2d stuff is so complex and unique to the person. Must have patience, not my best quality. I feel I'm very lucky not to have a heart problem, cancer, etc., but dealing with this is a challenge. Shall I continue to be a tower of jelly? Or move on from modest progress? It would be nice to have some t2ds to exchange experiences with. Like I've said in a few blogs, we're a shy group, full of guilt and shame for allowing ourselves to get fat and diabetic, our own stupid fault. I don't believe that of course, there's a lot more to being a t2d than a lack of willpower.

I haven't received any dialogue from twitter on t2d issues, just some orgs and hucksters lurking around, wanting to sell me something, their silver bullet.

anyhow, ttfn
gbt

wrestling sugars down

2009-08-23T21:40:00.002-04:00

I'm 3 weeks into this Metobolic Centre diet/exercise thingy, mixed results so far. Well, not that good actually, as blood sugars are too high - cause I dropped actose, and also am increasing no. of meals, supposedly mini-meals of 300 calories. I've increased my insulin to bring sugars down, but of course insulin makes you gain weight. I might be down 5 lbs or so but I usually drop 15 lbs in the first weeks of a diet. Exercise is weight-based resistance, and my left elbow and bicep are hurting, plus a knot in my back. Fuck I'm sick of this crap! You exercise, then you hurt yourself, then you back off, then your sugars go up, and you get discouraged.

I need to look into Buffalo gastric bypass place to see if I can get OHIP funding for out of country for it. Ontario is backlogged with more urgent cases, most likely, and so is the Montreal clinic.

Tonight, I'm going to walk our Golden puppy, Gracie, around the block. She's not good on the leash yet, so it's good exercise.

cheers!

Diets and more diets, not the answer but...

2009-07-23T21:28:00.003-04:00

Hi again t2ds. I'm trying to decide between a metabolic centre diet and exercise program and a diet called ideal protein. I don't think a diet per se is the answer, but I do need and want to lose some serious weight, whether or not I get the gastric bypass. They have to find my stomach.

I'm on twitter, and am hoping that some of my tweets there will bring t2ds here, for exchange of ideas and beefs. I don't want to slide into the pap of 99% of t2d sites, same old bullshit about diet and exercise, recycled with slight change to details.

My two pet issues are separating t1d from t2d - in every respect. Cdn Diabetes Assoc. should only deal with one or the other. More on that.

The udder issue is how the t2d establishment - being the megaceuticals and their knaves - doesn't want to recognize that the silver bullet for t2d may be gastric bypass or similar procedure. It is not the same as lap banding which does produce weight loss, but not a halt to t2d symptoms/progression.

Lots of bucks are at stake, and the drug cos will spend anything to protect their profits. Gastric bypass cuts them out big time. They want we t2ds to take lots of drugs, add a new one every once in awhile (at least until it is withdrawn, like avandia), and buy those fucking expensive strips that cost the bastards about 10 cents to make, I guess, and they sell for about a dollar - because they can, the health plans will pay a $1 a strip, so that's what all of them charge. It's not a conspiracy, it's just good business for them.

Today, my dreary exercise period was a bit better because I listened to my 'new' record - a vintage Woody Allen standup record set I bought at the fabulous Aberfoyle flea market last weekend. Back then, much of his wit was self-deprecating about his sex life or aspirations. So, I guess he didn't change, he just fell into the opportunity with his adopted daughter? Anyhow, he's still funny after all these years, at least to me.

Adieu, mon amis t2ds.

7 months later, more of the same only less so

2009-07-19T20:35:00.006-04:00

HI again. I've neglected this blog for two reasons: no one seemed to be reading it, and I didn't have much more to say - at the time.

I'm now on insulin, as the drugs just stopped working after about 10 years after my diagnosis - apparently, this is predictable. My weight went up to 290 and I'm really discouraged. My H1AC isn't too bad, 7.3, and other nos. are fine too. But I'm just too fat, it's not me and I hate it. Insulin makes it a bit harder to lose weight, and I need all the help I can get on that score. The needles are a nuisance, the insulin is expensive, the shots hurt sometimes, and I'm weary of it already. It's limiting too, because you have to plan ahead with the shots and drugs - yeah, I still take a bunch of drugs.

I'm in a line, supposedly, for gastric bypass paid for by OHIP, but I have no idea if I'll qualify or how long it'll take to get to the operation. I call it "drastic bypass" because it would drastically change my life. I live to eat. That must change. My hope is that the bypass will make compliance "easier" because it'll hurt a lot if I screw up.

I've started a program at a local weight loss place, Metabolic Centre, which is geared to type 2 diabetics, or so they say - haven't seen much evidence of that yet. My hope was to get in a group of peers so my competitive genes would give me some push. I'll be on a 30/20/10 gram diet of carbs, proteins and fat, respectively, 5 meals a day, 300 kcal a piece. I have little willpower, but some competitive spirit.

Christ, a silver bullet would be nice!

many months later, not so much fun anymore

2008-12-30T20:09:00.002-05:00

Hi type 2's! It's been a long time since my last blog. Silence usually belies bad news, like not getting responses from an old high school friend after you've bragged about your great success. Well, after our cruise in March of this year, and screwing up the dosage of the Avandia replacement, I gained 20 lbs or so to top out at 300 lbs. Ugly. A lot of ugly. Had a great time on the cruise though.

I gradually lost the weight, getting to 267, a loss of about 32 lbs or so, but in highsight, the weight loss was likely due to my very high blood sugar levels - all my drugs stopped working, right about at the 10 year mark. I guess I missed something in the materials, but I didn't see that coming, at all. So, now I'm on 4 injections of insulin, one before each meal and one late night to go for the whole night and into the next day. I can maintain "control" now, but the insulin shots are a pain in the ass - convenience-wise and literally, they are a pain, sometimes a pretty deep pain and I have lots of bruises on my gut. I have to remember to take the insulin just before eating, and of course I forget a few times each week. I've gained back about 15-20 lbs, too, a known side-effect of insulin. This is really pissing me off.

I'm looking at getting a gastric bypass operation - the non-invasive laproscopy technique to help cure my food addiction and slow down progression of the diabetic effects. Stay tuned for more about this. Cheers!

Aches, pains, and other whining; type 2 diabetes wears you down

2008-04-13T16:58:00.000-04:00

Hi t2ds. I'm still struggling with losing the weight that the generic substitute for Avandia put on me. We bought a 3.0 hp treadmill last week, to augment the bit of recumbent bike riding I do 3-4 times a week. My left arm still hurts like hell from straining or ripping some muscles doing the boxing on Wii. I'm such a genius. Anyhow, the heavy protein and vegetable diet, a la Atkins, helped me get off about 10 lbs. but I'm stuck now, cheating a bit too much.

My sore arm wakes me up at night, so I come downstairs and eat something I don't need or even want. That's genius too.

The shitty weather here hasn't helped at all, it's been the winter and now spring from hell. It's been so shitty, cold, rainy, windy and it's annoying. I usually get outdoors and the yard work helps burn some calories; not this year so far.

I ready for the silver bullet for diabetes anytime, it just wears you down. And yet, I have little reason to be so self-obsessed, self-pitying as I'm damn lucky with what I would call 'everything else'. It's pretty easy to fall into a little well of selfness.

numb feet are scary

2008-03-24T22:23:00.003-04:00

I'm being pretty careful lately, plus my high protein, low carb diet should be helping, but my feet have been bad this last week. Not neuropathy, but numbness, and that I find scary. It's from too much god damn sitting. Plus, some of the sitting cuts off circulation under my knees. Very dangerous, very scary. I've been riding my recumbent bike a fair bit, for about 25 mins at low tension. It does help.

I sit all day at my desk, looking at a computer screen, talking on the phone, not getting up for an hour or more at a time, and then walking a short way to the can to have another piss or a coffee. I take my beautiful dog for a short walk after lunch and then it's all afternoon at the desk again. Man, something must change. Maybe walking on a treadmill in front of the computer?

My feet and ankles are pufffed up still so I'm retaining water too. Fucking drug that I discontinued will take some time to get out of my system. Pretty boring eh? I know, it bores me too. Sorry.

diet screwed by drugs!

2008-03-17T22:17:00.003-04:00

I'm such a genius. After losing about 8-9 lbs in a week with this low carb regime, I ballooned up due to water retention from one of the diabetes drugs I take - the generic substitute for avandia. Avandia has that little drawback of increasing the risk of heart attacks, so like many others, I've been taken off it.

Well, I think I took twice the amount of this drug that I should have - I thought I should take two a day, but the dose was higher than the one it replaced, so I was over-dosing myself. I feel real stupid of course, and my frickin' ankles and calves are all swelled up and my toes are pretty numb, even after having 3 good sessions on the recumbent bike.

It's so maddening, so frustrating. I'm jinxed in my fight over weight. So, I'm in a drug hiatus now, pissed off at myself mostly. I like the energy boost I've felt from lowering the carbs - I normally feel like napping after lunch - sometimes I just crash in my office chair. It wastes time and I don't feel refreshed afterwards, just dopey. So, a bit of a benefit even if weight loss is stalled for now - I hope once the drug is out of my system, I will lose weight again. Man this is such a fucking pain, but I gotta keep working on it. If I don't do it, no one else will do it for me, and then off goes the toes!

my big fat diet day 3

2008-03-12T21:02:00.004-04:00

Hi there type two diabetes world! I've started a self-designed version of the big fat diet tested by a doctor up north in an aborigina community. It is like the Atkins diet of very low carbs, lots of green vegetables and meat, even fatty stuff. I had to try something as my weight was going to 300 lbs and my motivation was low.

So far, down about 4 lbs. but hard to tell. I do have a bit more energy, as carbs, my loved/hated carbs, made me sleepy of course. My wife and I are both doing it; she's not a t2d, but is a big girl. She lost a good hunk of weight with Weight Watchers, but then plateaued as usual. We're going to be careful, eating some carbs and watching my blood sugar. I have a tendancy to swing low in the late afternoon and after a fish and salad supper. Or, after a rare bout of exercise.

I feel like I just might be able to handle this diet - with all the well known flaws of any and all diets - and ride it for a loss of some pounds. I'm was eating myself to death as it is, so something was urgently needed.

You know, I'm a very lucky guy in so many ways, and I think sometimes that my food addiction is just my cross to bear - but it will kill me. I'm at that age when I'm hearing about guys with alcoholism, drug addiction, cancer, heart attacks, bad hips, and other awful stuff, and I then feel like a piece of shit because I have failed to deal with my food addiction. I shouldn't squander my good luck.

So, that's my parting thought: if you feel sorry for having type 2 diabetes, it could be worse, you could have pancreatic cancer. Cheery, eh? Well, that photo above is from my back yard after our latest gd snowfall, that's gloomy!

atkins diet? I'll try that

2008-03-10T22:48:00.002-04:00

Did you hear about the research up North, where a community went back to an old fashioned aboriginal high-fat, protein, no carb diet? It lowered blood sugar, chlorestoral (sp?) and helped with weight loss? And, best of all, no exercise. This could be huge. Carbs are evil, and I love them, everyone does. Pasta, potatoes, wonderful bread and buns; cheese. KD. All killers, the enemy.

I want to try something, I'm really in a funk, being so fucking sick of diet and my left arm is hurting all the time, so stiff - or is that the lipitor? Who knows? And sick of this gd winter here, cold, windy, too much f'in snow. Thank god we had a break in the sun, so many people can't get away at all, and just keep their heads down and work away and don't whine about it. That's grit, and I wish I had more of it.

Try looking up "My big fat diet" to see if you can find out about it. Keep on keepin' on.

type 2 diabetes industry

2008-03-08T09:40:00.003-05:00

Back from our winter cruise, gained 10 lbs of course, mainly from big buffet breakfasts and desserts at supper. And lack of willpower, as per usual.

Have started back on the recumbent bike, when I haven't tired out snowblowing my friggin driveway from all the god damn snow. I think I strained my left arm from boxing on Wii, and it is frequent, drifting pain. Hurray for advil.

One thing I want to emphasize is the that type 2 diabetes business is all about: diagnosis, prescription of several drugs, frequent testing of blood sugar level, and talking about exercise. In Cda, our Cdn Diabetes Assoc magazine runs the same fuckin articles in rotation about diet and exercise, some study they've done, surrounded by whole page glossy ads by giant drug and equipment cos for testing equipment. There is no weight on finding a cure, or dealing with the mundane realities of type 2 diabetes.

Get diagnosed, take drugs, test your blood. Repeat for 30 years. Buy the latest meter, as if they're any different - not at all. Who cares if one is slightly faster? or slightly more accurate? Not me. No articles from actual t2ds, no political activism, no critical analysis of anything. A bunch of pap. The articles never go beyond the superficial, the obvious, now the cliches of type 2 diabetes. No personal angst or anger ever expressed. Everyone is happy and smiling in the accompanying photos. Eat wise! Exercise every day! Go fuck yourself! I'm sick of it.

The closet t2ds, which is almost all of us of course, never see any humanity, any friggin specifics, just all this useless repetitive cliched general crap. If I had a million dollars, I'd start up a store front centre with foot care, a pragmatic dietician who is a t2d, MD with t2d experience and empathy, exercise coach who is t2d and overweight, eye doc or optician, pharmacist to explain and reconcile the meds, researcher to update us on real, not phony developements in the research that matters, psychological experts/shrinks or psychologists.

Anyhow, that's what I think. To any t2ds out there: do the best you can, don't despair.

type 1 vs type 2 diabetes - what I think

2008-02-11T22:48:00.000-05:00

OK,let's cut the crap on this thing. I'm fuckin sick of the conventional wisdom held by the ignorant, including type 1 diabetics, that type 2 diabetes is a "lifestyle" disease. That is just crap. More and more, research has confirmed that t2d is the result of a myriad of things, including brain chemistry, family history,, chromozones and genes etc., God knows what, as it isn't as neat and clean as type 1 causation. Lifestyle it ain't.

Even t2ds believe the lifestyle crap, and feel that they are to blame for their condition due to laziness, overeating and general lack of character and will power. I'm fed up with that bullshit and I refuse to feel guilty or responsible.

The media and most non-scientific/medical people misinterpret shallow studies that show, correctly, that you will increase the likelihood, worsen the symptoms, or hasten the onset of t2d by getting fat, not exercising, and eating poorly. That is true, but it doesn't mean that any of such things CAUSE t2d.

I'm not a scientist, but I think that t2d has very little to do with t1d, except that they both involve the pancreas and the body's manner of dealing with insulin. Beyond that commonality, the two diseases are very different, and should be treated as such.

Combining the two types of diabetes in public information and education just causes confusion, and in my case, it pisses me off. In Canada, we have just one association (the "CDA")that is supposedly looking after the interests of all diabetics. It caters mostly to childhood and type 1 diabetes.

The time is past due for separating the two types of diabetes in all public forums. T2ds should have their own voice in government lobbying, research and advocacy. Each disease is a medical monster of sufficient importance to justify separation, quite aside from or in addition to the intrinsic invalidity of the present situation of melding and mixing up t2d and t1d.

I've not read anyone else saying this, yet I think many in each category would agree. Let's do it.

let's cut the crap, shall we?

2008-02-09T11:39:00.000-05:00

I am going to open up now about certain things that bother me about the type 2 diabetes world that I live in. I wouldn't presume that my views or experiences are universal or common, but they might be of interest to other t2ds, or not.

My early blogs tried to cover too much territory, so I will now instead try to focus on just one thing and throw out some thoughts on it.

A very short story of my entry into the t2d world: I was fat and normal as a kid, depending on activities - paper route, team sports, girlfriend who lived a nice running distance away, and inactivity when I didn't play team sports anymore.

I always had pretty bad eating habits - overeating, lots of snacking, indulgent eating - having a whole 48 oz can of apple juice, or two big peanut butter sandwiches, or a whole package or bunch of cookies. Loving mother was pretty soft on me. Rarely did I have limits imposed on me, like I have with my gals - "3 cookies is enough!".

Eating for flavour, long after hunger had been satiated, and eating way too fast, yeah, way, way too fast, so by the time I had finally finished my three helpings, my body was just catching up to tell me I had overeaten again.

Of course, the WASPy bad habit of 'cleaning my plate' - not leaving anything on the plate at all. I was praised for it, and it became an OCD behaviour. Even now, 180 lbs later, I still fight the urge to clean my plate up. And lick it 'til its shiny.

We did have set dinners and lunches, sitting down and eating nutritious, balanced home cooked meals, rarely had pizza or other junk food. We ate Italian and other ethnic food before many others in our middle class suburban neighbourhoods did. I became an omnivour as a result - I will eat almost everything and anything, vegetables, grain, meat, sweets, whatever!

Finally, in terms of bad things in my youth, and blame is not the issue, I am responsible for myself, there is the exercise thing. My Mom played badminton, bowled, walked and generally was quite active. My Dad played sports as a poor kid, but not to a high level, and then a bit of golf as an adult, until it bothered his back. Both parents did watch their weight, and would cut back from time to time, and both did some limbering exercises later on as a senior citizen. But, as parents when I was a kid, we didn't really exercise as such, and we didn't play solo sports like tennis or squash or running/jogging. We liked to watch TV, maybe munch on salty pretzels or peanuts or the like.

So, parents - watch that stuff, it's a precursor to t2d:
- set limits on food quantities
- eat slowly
- don't urge more helpings on kids
- encourage them to just eat until satisfied, even if it means waste
- exercise together, set example for your children, make it fun, but importantly, make it normal and protect part of each week, a priority
- eat for flavour, sure, but only eat that which is really friggin good, never settle for filler food for sake of just filling up

That's enough for today, more than enough. The idea here is that I want to talk about my t2d experience directly, without filtration. ciao,

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

2008-02-05T14:54:00.000-05:00

Long hiatus from the blog, not much happening. Going on a cruise, and that'll be a test for me. Really tired of restricted diet, health talk, pills, feeling guilty about not exercising, getting hurt while exercising - pulled a bicep playing boxing on the Wii. Slow healing of course. Where is that fucking silver bullet?

Whoops! So much for control

2007-09-03T18:58:00.000-04:00

Well, we had our 2 wk family holiday; mother-in-law made a lot of sweet stuff, and I ate a lot of it. Also, forgot my meter, so no monitoring done. Didn't gain too much weight, though even 3-4 lbs is too much. Of course, I combined that with less exercise just to make it perfect. I'm a friggin mountain of willpower, that's me. One thing about a family eat-fest holiday, you come back with the intent to do better from NOW on. With fall, I can work outside without stroking out in the hot sun, and that is super exercise. I just go like a mad whore and sweat like a pig, wearing off that excess sugar level. That's my theory.

I can tell you, this weight/health continuum is pissing me off more and more. It's all over the media, be it tv, radio or papers, but the only people succeeding are already skinny and beautiful. It seems like that. Anyhow, I need more measuring, more exercise, more reminders that food is the enemy.
t2dtalker